SKINNY DIPPIN’
>
> An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He
> had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice picnic tables, Horseshoe
> courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees. The pond was properly
> shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
>
> One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it
> over as he hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon
> bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices
> shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch
> of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of
> his presence and they all went to the deep end.
>
> One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”
> The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim
> naked or make you get out of the pond naked.
>
> ” Holding the bucket up he said,”I’m just here to feed the
> allagators”……. Old men can still think fast.
>
> ________________________
>
> A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of
> ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got
> the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would
> not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.
>
> When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10
> million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The
> Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the 10 million bucks he
> embezzled from me is.” The attorney, using sign language, asks the
> bookkeeper where the money is.
>
> The bookkeeper signs back: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
>
> The attorney tells the Godfather: “He says he doesn’t know what you’re
> talking about.” The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the
> bookkeeper’s temple and says, “Ask him again!”
>
> The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell
> him!” The bookkeeper signs back: “OK! You win! The money is in a brown
> briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in Queens!”
>
> The Godfather asks the attorney: “Well, what’d he say?” The attorney
> replies: “He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”
>
>
Good Humor
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