01-22-2008, 11:20 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Name: Joe Pineapple
Location: Channel Islands, California
Vessel: 15' Starcraft "Dos Gatos Gordos"
Occupation: Chef on the Mirage & Musician/Songwriter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,752
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Why God Made MOMS!
WHY GOD MADE
MOMSAnswers given by 2nd grade school
children to the following questions:
Why did God make
mothers?
1.
She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape
is.
2. Mostly to
clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting
born.
How did God make
mothers?
1.
He used dirt, just like for the rest of
us.
2. Magic plus
super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just
used biggerparts.
What ingredients are mothers made of
?
1. God
makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice
inthe world and one dab of
mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then
they mostly usestring, I
think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other
mom?
1.
We're related.
2.
God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like
me.
What kind of little girl was your
mom?
1. My
Mom has always been my mom and none of that other
stuff.
2. I don't
know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
prettybossy.
3. They say she used to be
nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married
him?
1. His
last name.
2. She
had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunkon
beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to
drugs and YES tochores?
Why did your mom marry your
dad?
1. My
dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a
lot.
2. She got
too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap
on.
Who's the boss at your
house?
1.
Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the
stuff under thebed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to
do than dad.
What's the difference between moms &
dads?
1.
Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at
work.
2. Moms
know how to talk to teachers without scaring
them.
3. Dads are
taller & stronger, but moms have all
the power 'cause that's who you
got to ask if you want to sleep over at your
friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without
medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare
time?
1.
Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day
long.
What would it take to make your mom
perfect?
1.
On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
ofplastic
surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe
blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would
it be?
1.
She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd
getridof
that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my
sister who didit and not
me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible
eyes on the backof her
head.
__________________
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.
There's also a negative side.
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