How to tell the difference!!!

[Carnivore]

How do you tell the difference between liberals, conservatives, and southerners?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.




Conservative Answer:

BANG!





Southerner's Answer :

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!



Click....(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whaddayall kids think?"

Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.



Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"





Sorry I just had too.

[Anotherbite]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

[adr91360]

Real part of the joke was it wasn't a guy with a knife, but a japanese foreign exchange student. [img]smileys/[/img]

[Joey805]

HAHAH!!!

[FUZZYBEAR]

Uh Carni....did you mean to say "Californian" instead of Liberal?


and......"Texan" for Southern?


and in Georgia, you can kill someone just cuz they needed it!

[Carnivore]

Fuzzy I wasn't sure how this would be received so I keep my personal views off the board. I just thought it was funny and hopped that others would too. I still have silver tips or the real name is black talons.

[FUZZYBEAR]

Yeah, I understand...I put mine in so I'll take the beating![img]smileys/[/img]

[Phrog]

Now that is the funniest and most TRUE story I have heard in a long time!


That is a serious Bar story!


I just might be from TEXAS!


Phrog

[Carnivore]

To be honest Fuzzy I agree with you but why is for another time. I don't see a need for a beating from anyone but some people are just a little softer then others.


Phrog I think I am from the south too. South central, as I would have called him a few names but not reloaded, just popped a few caps and busted a move (run like a M/F). The kids and wife better keep up.

[Flipper]

I knew that one but still its funny! lol...


BANG BANG BANG!!!!! (sound of grenade pin being pulled) ....BOOOM!!!


hehehe.... [img]smileys/smiley15.gif[/img]